By Lori Morris, CNM, certified nurse-midwife and women's health coach

If your baby comes at home before help can get there, the most important thing to know is this: you can do this. Women have babies at home all the time, with and without help, and almost always everything is fine. Get somewhere comfortable, let your body lead, keep the baby skin-to-skin and warm, don't rush the cord or the placenta, and know the few simple things to do if there's bleeding or the baby needs help breathing.

I recorded this episode in 2024, sitting in Tennessee just two hours from the worst of Hurricane Helene's damage in the mountains. Whole towns were cut off, and I knew babies were being born there whether their mamas planned to be at home or not. But this isn't only for disasters. Your baby might just come faster than you thought. So even if you don't think this applies to you, read it, and have your husband read it too, because he's going to be doing a lot of these things while you're doing the work of birth.

Write this big at the top of your paper: I can do this. Your body was made to give birth, and your breasts were made to nourish babies.

I need to say this clearly. This is for times when you don't have a choice. I understand why some women choose unassisted birth, and I support your right to make that choice, but I can't in good conscience recommend it. Don't read this as "Lori said I can do this on purpose." That's not what I'm saying. This is for the mama who ends up alone because help can't get to her.

Keep these in a basket or box, all in one spot:

And before anything else, pray. God hears you and He knows what you need. If praying isn't your habit, know that people like me are praying for you.

Do whatever you're comfortable doing and get in whatever position feels good. Your body will tell you how to move. If you feel an urge to shift a certain way, that's often because the baby is pressing on a nerve or a bone and it's time to move so the baby can come down. You don't have to know why. Just follow it.

Don't do anything to speed labor up, and don't do anything to slow it down. Your pelvis, your hips, and your uterus were designed for this exact job. Protect that labor space and make it as calm and comfortable as you can.

If you want to labor or give birth in warm water, that's okay. There's no rush to bring the baby up out of the water after birth. But once any part of the baby has come out of the water into the air, the baby can't go back under, because now the baby might take a breath.

Usually the head is born, and then there's a pause before the body comes. That's normal. The head often comes with one contraction, and the body comes with the next. You'll usually see the baby turn during that pause, getting the shoulders lined up to come under your pubic bone.

As the head is coming, you'll feel an intense stretching sensation, sometimes called the ring of fire. If you can pant through it instead of pushing hard, you have a better chance of not tearing. If you can't, that's okay. We'll deal with tearing later.

Dad, once the head is out, you can slide a finger in and check for a cord around the neck. About a third of babies are born with one, and it is not an emergency. If it's loose, you can slip it over the head. If not, leave it.

If the baby is born still inside the bag of waters, pinch it with your fingernails and pull to make a hole, then pull the membranes off the baby's face so the baby can breathe.

Once the body is out, put the baby skin-to-skin on mom. Don't worry about the cord yet. If the cord is short, bring the baby up gently and see how much cord you have. You may need to hold the baby lower on mom's tummy, and that's fine.

There's no rush to get the placenta out or to cut the cord. A good portion of your baby's blood is still in the placenta. If you gently feel the cord, you'll feel a pulse. As long as it's pulsing, it's still moving blood back to your baby, so let it be.

Signs the placenta is coming:

You'll often see the placenta sitting right at the opening of the vagina. Mom usually needs to push a little to help it out. If it feels like it's hanging, don't pull on it. Hold it with both hands and slowly rotate it over and over. That helps the membranes let go so no pieces are left behind, and it will come out into your hands.

When you're ready to cut the cord, tie or clamp it in two places. Put the first one about half an inch to an inch from the baby's belly button and the second one an inch or two past that. Make them as tight as you can, then cut between them with your clean scissors. It's tough, kind of like cutting raw chicken. The cord has no nerve endings, so it doesn't hurt mama or baby.

A small amount of bleeding after the placenta is normal. Heavy gushing or flowing isn't. Here's what to do, in order:

Keep her drinking lots of fluids. If you have real salt or something with electrolytes, like Gatorade, give her that too so the fluid stays where it's needed. This almost never happens. I just don't want you to feel helpless if it does.

The main goal for a healthy baby is to keep the baby warm. The best warmer on earth is mom's body. Keep the baby skin-to-skin with a blanket or towel over the back.

A baby born gently at home may not do the big screaming cry you've seen on TV, and that's okay. Look for a baby who is alert, looking at you, and not struggling to breathe, and who pinks up soon after birth. For babies with darker skin, check the palms, the soles of the feet, and the inside of the mouth for color.

If the baby is blue, pale, limp, or not breathing well:

Almost every newborn problem is about breathing, and getting those lungs open usually solves it. These things are almost never needed, but I want you to have the tools.

Matthew 6 says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." God cares for the birds and the lilies, and He cares for you more. He knew when your labor would start. He'll provide what you need. It may not be easy, but He wants you to lean on Him, and you can do this.

What should I do if my baby is coming and I can't get to help?
Get into whatever position is comfortable, let your body push the baby out, put the baby skin-to-skin on your chest, and keep the baby warm. Don't rush to cut the cord or pull out the placenta. Call for help as soon as you're able.

Is a cord around the baby's neck an emergency?
No. About a third of babies are born with a cord around the neck. If it's loose, slip it over the head. If it isn't, leave it and let the baby be born.

When should I cut the umbilical cord after an unplanned home birth?
There's no rush. Let the cord stop pulsing, and you can wait until after the placenta is out. Tie or clamp it in two places, then cut between the ties with clean scissors.

How do I stop heavy bleeding after birth at home?
Massage the uterus until it's firm, put the baby to the breast or stimulate the nipples, make sure the bladder is empty, and if bleeding continues, squeeze the uterus firmly with both hands through the belly while you get help.

What if my newborn isn't breathing well?
Rub the baby's back and flick the feet, clear the mouth and nose, and if needed give small puffs of air from your cheeks into the baby's mouth and nose. Keep the baby warm and call for help.

If you have questions about any of this, email me at lori@morriswellnessservices.com. If you're pregnant and want support preparing for your birth, see my Menu of Services or my online Christian childbirth course. You can also read more about optimal cord clamping and how to make a home birth possible.

Please share this with any mama who might need it. You can listen to the full episode of If Mama Ain't Healthy (Ain't Nobody Healthy) at the top of this page.